10 Painful Lessons I Learned Too Late As An Adoptive Father

Lately I’ve been stumbling across various blog postings about things people have learned about [fill in the blank], things they want you to know about [fill in the blank], things you wish you could say to [fill in the blank.] They come from adoptive families, adopted people and others within and outside the adoption triad. I mean no disrespect, but I thought I should add my own painful lessons learned too late about adoption since my precious daughter Casey’s suicide. …

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1vG4vSS
#Adoption, #Attachment, #AttachmentParenting, #Suicide, #TeenSuicide

Recent Radio Interviews

As a self published author it’s hard to get media access which stinks when you’re trying to reach a broader audience. Among producers, agents, columnists, reviewers, and other gatekeepers there is still a bias against self published works….

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1lR8jMB
#Adoption, #Attachment, #BillMeyer, #Interview

Dr. Phil Doesn’t Get it

Normally I don’t watch The Dr. Phil Show during the day, but Erika taped an episode yesterday that was a “must view.” Titled “Parents Divided Over Disowning Their Son,” the show featured two adoptive parents and their 24-year-old adopted son, Adam. The father in particular was ready to disown and sever his relationship with his only child….

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1on28KP
#Abuse, #Adoption, #AttachmentDisorder, #DrPhilShow, #Suicide

Read This Book: “Adoption Healing” by Joe Soll


I first heard about Joe Soll through the American Adoption Congress. He is a prominent adoption advocate, licensed therapist, writer of multiple books and an adoptee himself. His book, Adoption Healing, was published some years ago, but his message remains powerful to this day….

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1hK5HII
#Adoption, #BookReview

A Washington Post “Parenting” Columnist’s Stunning Ignorance!

I’m very grateful that someone shared with me today a column in the Washington Post called ‘On Parenting’ by their “parenting advice” columnist, Marguerite Kelley. She appears on radio and TV, so her opinions are shared far and wide.

Her advice made me ill.

A couple wrote in about the trouble th ……

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1o4qMC2
#Adoption, #Advice, #Parenting

Case in point

Well, I promised to follow up my last post with some good news, and I know that at least one of my readers will be disappointed that she won’t get to read about the sense of optimism I feel in the air just yet. Instead, I’m gonna hang out on my soapbox for a little while longer because I’m still working through my irritation….

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1qgITWV
#Adoption, #FosterCare, #Mentoring

Open or “Closed” Adoption. Is One Better Than The Other?

As we in the adoption community know all to well, the process of adoption has evolved dramatically over the years. Up until the 60’s or 70’s it was much like as it was depicted in the movie, Philomena (the movie version being a bit at the extreme end of the spectrum.) The adoption was a hush-hush affair on all sides, the adoptee never knowing that she was adopted. Instead, she was told a lie where she was in fact the biological offspring of the adoptive parents. In most cases there was nothing malicious about this; it was thought that this was best for all concerned, particularly the child. Well, we know how that worked out. …

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/OSFv7s
#Adoptee, #Adoption

The Girl Behind The Door: A Memoir By John Brooks

“This book should be a wakeup call to all adoptive parents and professionals about the urgent issues adoptees and their parents face.”
Nancy Newton Verrier, attachment therapist and author
The Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self
A Marin County, California father embarks on a journey to understand wh ……

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1kBOF4V
#Adoption, #AttachmentDisorder

Hazards of the Job

Recently I’d been thinking a lot about how this work uplifts me. On Twitter I had some wonderful conversations with youth advocates in the special ed and autism community about the public misperception that the populations we work with are depressing. “I could never do the work you do” is often coded language for “I could never work with those people.” It’s offensive, especially considering the fact that what’s dispiriting and draining about this work has virtually nothing to do with the people we serve.

You know what does get me down? On one level it’s the larger institutional, economic, and social structures that present significant challenges to our young people. If I dwell on them too much, it makes me lose my sense of humor. Some days I wake up wanting to punch somebody. I wish I could say that my advocacy springs from a generous Dalai Lama-esque capacity to love all my fellow human beings, but I’m not there yet. The truth is, my sense of purpose and outrage is very personally rooted. I’ll say this much: many of the stories I hear about children in foster care resonate with me. …

Full Story @ http://sjs.li/1enxnpX
#Adoption, #Advocacy, #Family, #FosterCare, #Life, #Location, #NoShame